What do you really want?

As a youngster, when I was asked “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I always thought: Lawyer. Even now in my adult life, this is still the career I want to pursue. And now there are a few different ways to go about doing it. You can attend school either physically or on-line. I have done both so far, and let me tell you neither is easy. In fact, I find that attending school on line is much more difficult than attending school with physical students. At this point in my life, I have often felt like giving up.  I am over 30 and I have kids and pets and a house that somehow always remains in a messy state. But the road I have chosen to pursue my goal is a rough and lonely one. I chose to go to school on line and now have realized that I need to put on three pairs of big girl panties to finish this goal. Giving up is not an option- especially the lofty debt attending any type of schooling puts you in.

Today I decided to postpone taking the baby bar exam. I missed it the first time around due to scheduling, but this time there is so much going on, that I feel like for my sanity and for the sake of giving the exam all i’ve got, I should wait. Even though deep down it isn’t what I want to do, I feel that I need to wait. I go back to work in two weeks from maternity leave and as soon as I go back, my husband goes to training for a couple of months for a new job. I suppose sometimes, you really have to cut yourself some slack and look at the bigger picture and realize putting things off isn’t so bad.

Now I start planning on tackling this exam once again and caring for the kids, pets and home.  I know I sound so whiny but sometimes I miss being a kid when all you had to worry about was yourself. It is funny to me know that when I was in college when older people would complain about life, I didn’t understand nor was I sympathetic…now I am those people!!! Funny how the tables turn and now I know exactly what I would say—Take your time.

My new mini me agreeing with my mood!

My new mini me agreeing with my mood!